sunshine girl

I really like this, it's very sincere and a nice rhythm. well done!!! :D

hey! I thought the last stanza seemed to contradict the previous ones, but overall I did like it and it had some great imagery. With a bit of fine tuning ...

I think the last comment was a bit harsh (no offence intended) but I do agree with some of the points. I didn't think the rhythm flowed very well but ...

A hidden land of constant smiles, Resting within these crumpled walls of paper. Thousands of eyes squinted against the sun Because it never rains here. Sculpted lands of black and ...

hey, I did like this although bits were a teeny tiny bit cliche. Overall really nice though, I particularly liked the end. :)

I did like parts of it and the ideas, but parts were a tad confusing and needed a bit of fine tuning. Overall, pretty good though.

I actually quite liked it. I especially liked the rhyme of 'son' and 'I won't be gone for long'. I think this rhyme worked particularly well. Ok, so parts do ...

People are saying they don't like the ending, but I thought it was the best bit! Where as bits through out the poem were a bit wishy washy, I thought ...

I quite liked it. Didn't understand bits of it but maybe it's just too deep for me (!!:D!!). Definetly better than the first one.

Why are people so mean on this site???! I liked it even if it does need a bit of work. Maybe parts could have done with a different rhyme scheme, ...

Did you mean that you love the goose? I did like the poem though, and the idea of breathing in different kinds of air was really nice and refreshing. :)

I liked it and can definetly see where the ideas are coming from. I particularly liked the last stanza, but think the whole thing does need a little bit of ...

I actually quite liked it despite what everyone else said! :) I agree, it does need a bit of work to make it better, but I thought it did have ...

Hi. I like the ideas but I think the repitition could have worked more to your advantage with a bit of fine tuning to make it more poignant. It could ...

I did like the message although I think it is probably one of those poems which could be more effective without rhyme. With a bit of work I do think ...